Twenty-Three Ways To Go
by elvern
Summary: Moya's DRDs act up...


'Tongue Lashing'

**'Twenty-Three Ways To Go'**

** **

Disclaimer:I do not own the characters within this fanfic; Henson, Hallmark, Nine-Network and the Sci-Fi Channel do.

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The stars looked unusually calm.Moya floated through the territories like a whale glides through the oceans.Chrichton sat.Staring out of his room into the vastness that encapsulated his environment.He smiled.He'd forgotten how much he loved this view - looking into the never-ending beauty of space.He whistles a vaguely familiar tune.

The entrance to his room opens.

A DRD enters, potters about – heads for the far corner of his room. John watches with fascination.He looks back out to space.He is somewhat distracted by a passing solar system, when an alarming sound occurs.

He turns to see the DRD busily making a hole in the side of Moya.

John looks in complete bemusement.

He goes to the panel.Taps it.

"Hey.Pilot… what are you trying to do down here?" "I'm sorry John… but I don't know what you are talking about…"

John looks at the DRD - which is in the process of cutting through the only thing that divides John, and his beloved space.

"Well one of our little friends is in the process of spacing me… pause get that?"

He looks slightly amused by the situation… then realises that this is what's happening.

"I'm sorry John, I have no DRDs in your vicinity…"

_"Well someone does."_

John goes for his weapon, points it at the DRD.He's about to fire when D'Argo walks in.He grabs John's arm as he's about to fire.

"Hey pause what'd you do that for?"

_"You were about to shoot a hole in Moya, John."_

John looks at D'Argo and then to the DRD.He smiles.Acknowledges D'Argo's advice and lowers his weapon.

"Well then… what do you suggest we do about our little friend over there?"

D'Argo looks over at the DRD.

"We could pull it away…" "Okay then"

John's hesitancy is obvious; his distaste for those things was becoming intolerable.As John and D'Argo reach the DRD it speeds up it's drilling...

John looks to D'Argo and they both dive at the DRD.

They manage to pull it from the wall.They look at each other – smile – relieved; they slowly get to their feet.They look around.The DRD has disappeared.They look at each other, realising what they're both thinking… they make for the cell's door.

It opens.

As the two men jump through it, all the air in John's quarters is released.The door shuts behind them.As they look back into the room, they see the sole DRD getting sucked out into the abyss of space.

John turns to D'Argo.

"Shite… I thought we're gonna be spaced then…"

_"Why was it acting like that? These things always happen to you… why no one else? "_

As John is considering how to answer D'Argo's question a large shriek is heard from Chiana's cell.They both look at each other and again rise to their feet and head in the direction of the screeching Nebari.

A MOMENT

As John and D'Argo round another one of Moya's endless corridors they see Chiana wrestling with a DRD…

_"Well don't just stand their boys… get this thing away from that damned wall."_

John looks at D'Argo inquisitively.

"What the hell is going on here…?"

The two of them go after the DRD.This time making sure they disable it.This was a lot harder than they thought… and after several microts of chasing the mechanical menace around the room they finally manage to stop it.Whilst John tries to hold it still D'Argo raises his blade above his head and plunges it down – the DRD cracks from the impact.

"Extreme… extreme but effective…"

D'Argo looks at John; he stares at him and then looks at Chiana.

"Are you okay?"

She looks at him; her looks say everything and nothing.

"I'm fine silence thank-you…"

John looks at the pair of them.

"Hmm… okay…pause well I'd better be off then…"

They look at him.He flicks his eyes between the pair.He chuckles.

_"You guys aren't pause you're not… pause you're back together."_

He laughs a little more.Chiana looks at D'Argo, he turns to John and grimaces.John getting the hint leaves the room quickly - still chuckling to himself.D'Argo lashes out and trips over the mocking John.John turns over.

_"Hey… there's no need for a tongue lashing from you… pause I got enough of that from my mother…"_

He rises to his feet and leaves the room, rubbing his forehead.

The door shuts.

John potters along corridor aimlessly.He looks to and fro.

_"Hmm… where is everybody?"_

He keeps walking along the winding corridors of Moya.He turns up in Pilot's chamber.

_"Hey mack…"_

Pilot looks at John suspiciously.

_"What brings you to my chamber?"_

_"Well you know… pause time to kill... no bedroom pause stuff like that…"_

The pilot looks upon John as if he's thinking _'why the hell my leviathan?'He taps a few buttons and brings up a view of John's vacuumed room._

_"Well at least I won't need to clean it anymore… aye, Pilot."_

Pilot again looks down at him.

_"I seem to missing about twenty-three DRDs from my tracking matrix…"_

He mumbles to himself as he taps away at the numerous consoles in front of him.John looks at him…

_"Hello… what do you mean you've lost them off your matrix? pause how'd you do that?"_

_"I suspect if you tried to control two million three hundred different areas you'd lose a thought here and there…"_

John recoils at this thought and shuts up.

_"Ah… pause this is most strange… it seems that the DRDs have disconnected themselves from the matrix!"_

_"But they're machines Pilot… pause that's like saying my cable box decided it didn't like Melrose Place and turned itself over to the Disney Channel!"_

Pilot's blank stares amuse John and then disturb him.

_"Am I the only one this side of the galaxy who's ever gonna laugh at myself…"_

_"No."_

Aeryn stands at the doorway.

_"Lot's of people think you're funny John."_

_"Yes… but a lot think I'm inferior…"_

Aeryn stares at the Pilot, they exchange glances.She looks back at John smiling.

_"Of course you are John."_

Pilot looks down at his console.

_"I think you'd better get to the main control room… there's a rogue DRD there."_

Aeryn and John look at each other.John taps the comm.

_"Hey big…_

CHIANA'S QUARTERS

Chiana and D'Argo's activities have reached an energetic high, specifically Chiana.

_… guy… get your ass up to the bridge… pause _

John's screeching voice across the comm. does little to stop them.

_"…we've got more DRD problems!"_

D'Argo holds Chiana still, looks up at her - she smirks.He lifts her aside and rises.He puts his robe back on, looks at the semi-covered Chiana, looks away.

_"(under his breath) Damn that man…"_

BRIDGE

John and Aeryn look into the bridge through the large doors.

_"Do you think it's safe to go in there Aeryn…?"_

_"Why don't you go in and find out for us John?"_

D'Argo arrives and looks at the two of them peering through the doors.

_"What are you doing…? pause why haven't you gone in yet?"_

_"Well we're not sure where it is… I don't fancy being sucked up like Dorothy!"_

They both look at him as though he's a madman.Then Aeryn looks down at what D'Argo's wearing.

_"Why are you wearing Chi… pause o never mind…"_

Upon this D'Argo realises that in his haste he's put on one of Chiana's larger (but still not quite large enough) robes…

_"Well…pause a-hem… it's like silence well let's just get in there…!"_

The three of them cautiously enter the room… they half-step their way towards the control panels.

D'Argo goes to the left, Aeryn to the right and John stays near the door.Both D'Argo and Aeryn look at John… who commences forward at this sight.They reach each corner… nothing.Aeryn raises her hand.

_"Wait a minute… pause can you hear that?Everyone be quiet!"_

They are.A slight low-pitched humming can be made out from the vicinity of John.He looks between his legs.The DRD is slowly, very methodically, drilling holes in the Moya's inner shell.He grabs the DRD.

The others make their way across to him.

D'Argo goes for his blade… but upon realising he's not properly attired merely raises his hands and smashes them down on the DRDs surface."Thwack."Nothing.He looks at the other two.

_"Well what do we do now… meathead other here can't keep smacking it hoping it'll roll-over and play dead can he…"_

A faint buzz can be heard as the comm.Comes into action.

_"I have some rather alarming news… it appears that the rogue DRDs have accessed the main system and are in the process of shutting them down; one by one."_

The three-crew members look at each other.

_"How did they get access to those systems… why couldn't you stop them?"_

_"Well if we don't hurry up we'll be flushed out like my room…"_

Pilot's voice booms over the comm. again.

_"I had no control of them… they've taped straight into the main system from the source."_

The three of them look at the DRD between them, and decide to bring it with them.

CHIANAS QUARTERS

D'Argo enters… Chiana smiles, opens her blanket and invite him in.Aeryn and John follow him in… Chiana quickly covers herself up…__

_"I didn't know you were brining friends…pause and I wondered where that had gone."_

D'Argo looks down at what he's wearing… he grabs his robe and puts it over the one he's wearing.

The three of them make their way to the main system chamber.

MAIN SYSTEM CHAMBER

When they arrive they discover that the remaining DRDs are all surrounding One-Eye.

Quickly D'Argo swings his blade above his head and swipes it down knocking out several of the DRDs… but not all.John grabs the nearest thing to him, one of Zhaan's old instruments… he starts whacking DRDs with it…_'whatever it truly was; it sure made a useful basher'_ he thought to himself.

A MOMENT

The three of them sit back-to-back in the middle of the room as Chiana walks in.She looks at the carnage that surrounds them.

_"Did I miss anything guys?"_

They look between themselves.

_"(Together) No."_

_"Well then D'Argo, can you come and finish that thing… you know that tongue lashing thing you do… (she giggles a school-girl giggle)."_

The main system read-out reads 23 files remaining.

THE END


End file.
